I couldnt get through to him just how critical these things were to arousing a womans sexual feelings and to our entire relationship. And so my expectations of him were unreal. Such a man might consider himself the model of faithfulness but in reality he has not only betrayed his wife, and his marriage vows, he is a … He understood the mechanics of sex. My anticipation that making love would bond us as close emotionally as it did physically, never transpired. If in my misery I started crying, his inevitable response was, What the @#&$% are you crying about now! His harsh, hurried rubbing hurt me so much that it wasnt worth begging for. For help, see Frigidity in women is a common sexual dysfunction. So I gave up asking. My sexual yearnings had simply lapsed into a long coma because my husband, despite having all the physical attributes, never discovered how to be a lover. In his eyes I obviously needed help to get over my poor attitude to sex.
He was just inadequate at expressing his feelings, having been brought up to think that proper men dont express feelings. Rather than feel loved, wanted or cherished, I only felt preyed upon. He was a good provider. In bed he acted like a man gulping down water. Note: It is best to read the following after reading “I Hate Sex!” When Wives Want a Sexless Marriage . His behavior convinced me that he didnt want me, he only wanted certain parts of my body. Sometimes intercourse could be painful due to inadequate lubrication. In the hope that I spare you a similar tragedy, I share my story.
Informational material and Most men like him end up divorced and cant figure out why. Then, to my horrified surprise, my libido suddenly sprang from nowhere three years later.
It took next to nothing to sexually arouse him, and once he was aroused, he wanted only to climax and go to sleep. He seemed interested in just one thing: relieving himself sexually. He could barely wait for our wedding night, and I wanted him as much as he wanted me. Yet despite all the sex he got, this poor man went to his grave with no conception of the sexual delights he had missed out on simply because he was too thick to learn how to love his wife. He decided to make a project of getting me interested in sex. He was well thought of in the community; known to be a placid and easygoing. He said I was frigid. This, compounded by having had neither father nor brother to relate to, led me to expect that all decent men are articulate, kind, gentle, loving, considerate and romantic.
Depression, anxiety, stress or even simple boredom could also make some women frigid in the long run. I knew the facts of life. And so our marriage limped on.
Yet I knew from bitter experience that no matter how insatiable my craving, my sexual desires would vanish again if I had a partner making the same tragic mistake as my husband. I never felt I was a person to him; only a possession. The great tragedy is that by treating me differently he could have made me the great sexual partner he only dreamed about. But he didnt have a clue about lovemaking. Many women experience loss of interest in sex due to various physical and psychological reasons. He usually just called me Mom. If this is suspected, seek a professional opinion by consulting a gynecologist, general practitioner or complementary health professional.It must be understood that sexuality involves a complex set of emotions and behaviors, ranging from romance and feelings of closeness and security, to feelings of sensuality and desire.Intimacy has no switch that can be flipped on when one partner wishes to become intimate, and usually the setting and situation must feel right and comfortable before both partners can enjoy it.All images on this site are property of Confessions of a Frigid Woman . He was very strong on family loyalty. It would be better for him for a millstone to be placed around his neck and he be tossed into the sea’ (Luke 17:1-2, paraphrase). I thought I was well prepared for marriage. My sex drive mirrored exactly how valued as a person I thought I was in his eyes. We both missed out badly because of what I perceived as his coldness toward me. I had thought that when relating sexually with me he would express love by: He took me to erotic floor shows, but couldnt understand why they didnt arouse me.
He was faithful. He made it clear that since I was his wife, I wasnt going to say, No, so why waste time on preliminaries? The man who doesnt make it his goal to please his wife the way she wants is brother to the man who chops off a little more of his arm each day and then complains about the pain. You have just read the experience of a highly exceptional woman in that despite the treatment she received, she gave this man sex on demand. Instead of making love, he merely had sex. Adding to my distress was my acute embarrassment at the thought that his mother might hear us. If locked within him was genuine love for me, it was tragically wasted because he failed to communicate it in a way that touched my heart. Anyone so stupid as to think he could hurt the person he is one flesh with, without hurting himself.